George was approaching Chuck E’ Cheese after Mary told him to meet her there with their son Mike. Opening the door in Chuck E’ Cheese, he was reminiscing on how he had a great childhood and how he loved his parents, despite them never being married. Even though they weren’t married, they always put George’s happiness first. The smell of pizza caught his attention as he observed the atmosphere and the area of the restaurant, which led him to believe that this will be a good day. He walked up to Mary, kissed her on her cheek, and sat down to hear what news she wanted to tell him.
“We shouldn’t be wasting our money to play these games,” Mary said.
With a confused look on his face, he responded, “what are you talking about?”
“What is the point of playing these games when we both lose?”
“But, I thought we were having fun though?”
“We were having fun until you had to bring somebody else to join our good time.”
“I didn’t bring her intentionally; she forced me to make her come and play.”
“You couldn’t stop her from coming? Oh your not man enough to say no? That’s it I can’t deal with this anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I cannot be with a man who finds a way to cheat on a game just for the satisfaction of winning the game. I’m leaving you and I’m taking our son Mike with us.”
I like this passage....however, I would like for you to take out the part where you say his is reminiscing. How can you transition the reader without telling the reader that you are about to do so?
ReplyDelete18/20