Accident: Drunk driving led into a crash
One sentence: As Johnson stops drinking his beer, he crashes his car on another car.
One ¶ Summary: After leaving his home, Johnson couldn’t stop thinking the way his wife, Lisa was using her tongue on another’s man tongue. He decides to go to the local grocery store and purchase two six-packs of beer. Ironically being the police officer that he is, he decides to drink beer while driving his car. A flashing light of a truck had awoken Johnson as he swerved and drove his car onto another car.
Slow Motion: While Johnson crashed his car onto another car, his head slammed against the windshield of the car, since he didn’t have a seat belt on. His body moved due to the force of the car. He still couldn’t believe how he could’ve loved his wife if this was the response he would get from her. He thought the pain will go away if he drank something and drove any type of vehicle.
I would still like a lot more detail work here!
ReplyDeleteYou need to have the action happen slowly enough that the reader can picture his head getting closer and closer to the windshield.
Take your time and add at least 8 more sentences of detail to this passage!
14/20